- Hello and welcome to our conversation on positive aging.

I'm your host, Denice Hicks.

Today I'm joined by four individuals, each of whom have unique perspective on what positive aging can or should entail.

Let's meet our panelists.

First we have Deborah Lee.

She is the NHC Chair of Excellence in Nursing, and the director of the Positive Aging Consortium at Middle Tennessee State University.

Next is Laura Grissom.

She's a fellow member of the Positive Aging Consortium and the Health and Wellness Education Coordinator at St. Clair Senior Center in Murfreesboro.

We also have Alonzo Murray.

He's a retired army sergeant first class, as well as a former auto manufacturer and football coach.

Today, his athleticism and competitive spirit find a home on the increasingly popular pickleball court.

Finally meet Barbara Stanley.

After retiring from a career in the criminal justice system, she founded Dream Makers, a charitable organization that crochets princess wigs and character beanies for children who have lost their hair, typically due to cancer treatment.

Thanks for joining us.

(gentle music) - [Announcer] Major funding for, "Aging Matters" is provided by the West End Home Foundation, enriching the lives of older adults through grant making, advocacy and community collaboration.

The Jeanette Travis Foundation dedicated to improving the health and wellbeing of the Middle Tennessee community, the HCA Healthcare Foundation on behalf of TriStar Health, Cigna, together all the way.

Additional funding provided by Jackson National Life Insurance Company, the Community Foundation of Middle Tennessee, and by members of NPT.

Thank you.

- Well, let's just get into it.

Deborah, let's begin with you.

What has your research taught you about positive aging and what can the rest of us learn?

- Well, one of the things that's really fascinating to me is we hear how much the population of those of us 60 and over has grown.

And when we look at census data from 2010 to 2020, when 2020 is the most recent census data, what we saw was a one third increase in the population of people 65 and over during that time.

That's the largest increase in a decade, in over 130 years.

so we know that we are powerful and that we are growing.

And when we talk about positive aging, what we mean is an intentional effort towards maintaining and develop, well, developing and maintaining our functional abilities, so we can engage in our wellbeing as we age.

And that's made up of a lot of different things.

And I think typically what people think is, you know, I know I need to exercise, I know I need to eat right, those kind of things.

And that certainly is important.

Getting movement into our day, controlling our weight.

Those are important.

The things most people don't think about that also contribute to positive aging are things like being engaged in a social community or being engaged with family members.

So having social connectivity is a huge component of positive aging.

Having a purpose, what makes you get up in the morning, what makes you wanna live is another huge important component.

Managing stress and then being around others who really can support our healthy habits are all things that contribute to positive aging.

And there are lots of other things out there, but those are really the things that research has continued to show really make a difference.

- That is fantastic.

And I'm sure we'll get to some of those other things in the rest of this conversation.

Laura, I'd like to get your perspective on it.

How does one's perception of aging affect their wellbeing and how do you see this play out in the senior center?

- Well, it definitely does affect how we age.

Whether we think these are my final years, the golden years, which I often hear some of our seniors say, they're not so golden.

(chuckles) That's not an attitude we wanna have.

And then we have that all the way down to people who are thinking, "This is finally my time.

I don't have work to tie me down anymore, not raising a family," those sorts of things, so they are able to do what they want to do, which they find extremely freeing.

And you can tell the difference between the folks who believe it is a good time in life to be able to, you know, spread your wings and do what you wanna do, as opposed to the folks who are kind of, "Ugh, this is it.

I'm old."

We see, like I said, everything from the top of that to the bottom of that at the senior center.

But we do find that, if you will, a lot of the things Deborah just said, if you will have socialization, come to a place like St. Clair's Senior Center, that makes a huge difference just on its own, just having community.

It does give you that feeling of purpose.

You have a reason to get up in the morning.

And while that may not sound like a big deal to some people who are in the middle of their career, it is a big deal as we age and don't have those other things that give us the purpose in our life.

So being a friend to someone at the center, they are so good about when someone is missing for a few days in a class, they check on one another.

And that is huge.

That makes a big difference in your life to know someone cares about you and is looking out for you.

So, we try to really get folks to look on a more happy side of aging.

And we do that at the center by offering just so many ways for them to age gracefully and positively - Do you have exercise classes?

- Oh, yes ma'am.

We have lots of fitness classes.

I teach a couple of those.

And not only do the fitness classes help you physically.

Again, you've got the socialization part, the friendships that come along, it is good for your mental health.

Exercise of course, helps with depression, anxiety, all of those things.

It helps keep you sharper mentally.

It has been proven that if you stay physically active, that helps with a myriad of things, not just your fitness, your physical fitness.

- Well, I do wanna talk a minute about the people cannot get to the center or can't leave their house.

How do they stay connected?

- Well, there were actually a few silver linings from COVID.

So that is one of the silver linings.

is that during COVID when we could not be open, we actually filmed a lot of our exercise classes, our fitness classes, and so our folks could go on channel three, if they have Comcast cable, they could watch that, or on YouTube.

Most of them end up on YouTube.

And not only our fitness classes, but when we have doctors come in and lecture different educational classes, we will film those as well, because we do want to be mindful of those who are truly not able to leave their home.

- Yeah.

That takes us to Alonzo.

So share with us how joining a recreational pickleball group transformed you both physically and emotionally.

- Well, it was like she said, it was the social aspect of it.

And when COVID hit, you know, gyms closed, so you had to find another avenue.

So I had a couple of old friends of mine that I used to coach football with, invite me out and started and went from there.

But I mean, I went in at 219 pounds.

I'm at 158 now, and maintained that.

And it wasn't anything drastic.

It was over an 18 month period that I didn't even notice it, to the point where I was just having fun.

(participants chuckling) And then enjoying the, you know, talking trash and with everybody else out there, and just having something to do in the morning since I didn't work.

I've been retired for three years out of the auto manufacturing, and so I had to find something else to do to keep myself busy, so that's how I wound up doing a pickleball thing.

- Right, so it's both exercise and social.

- [Alonzo] Social, yes.

- Social activity in a friend group and checking in.

- Yes, oh yes.

A fun for a group.

- And what happens if you don't show up for a game?

- Well, if I don't show up, they keep going on.

'Cause like, people still have lives where other things kind of interrupts it.

But usually like we go out there at 6:30 in the morning, you know, sometimes, you know, it's about seven o'clock, we're on the floor, so pretty much done by 11 o'clock.

So, you got a lot of other things that you can do.

- That get your day going.

- But it gets your day going, gets your blood pumped.

- [Denice] And I bet they'll come looking for you if you don't show up.

- Oh, yeah.

If I'm gone too long, they will.

(chuckles) - (chuckles) Great.

So Barbara, like Alonzo, you also managed to find a community of people after you retired, but I'm interested in another aspect of your experience.

How has volunteering to crochet these wigs, the princess wigs and character beanies for cancer patients affected your outlook on the aging process?

- Well, what I do is just so rewarding.

And giving back is just, is so powerful.

I mean, and it is I think I get more out of this than the kids do actually.

- [Denice] So, it's a win-win.

- It is a win-win.

And they talk about giving back.

When we gave one of our wigs, the first child we served in my hometown, she immediately wanted to give back and help us make wigs, so it goes round and round.

- That's amazing.

- And I'm just very grateful that I have this new beginning.

- You're teaching to crochet as well as doing it yourself?

- Yes ma'am.

Yes.

- So how does that work into your, I mean, do you derive pleasure then from teaching as well as creating as well as?

- I do.

I'd much rather create (laughs) than teach, but I do teach, I've taught this 12 year old's come to my house and I've taught her how to crochet and she is just wonderful at it and is very creative and is now helping us in Dream Makers.

So we have all ages.

And the social aspect of it is, I have met so many people and gotten involved with other organizations such as the Lions Club, and they're a big supporter of ours.

And it gives me a purpose.

You talk about purpose, you know, that's the purpose.

And I, you know, I think we're put here for a purpose, and that's to give back to help other people.

- That is just glorious.

So, Deborah, I'd like to come back to you.

We've talked about paths toward positive aging.

What are some of the impediments or the roadblocks that we encounter?

- Well, Denice, certainly the things like poverty, housing and food insecurity, transportation issues certainly do.

And there are other things that we don't typically think of that impact our ability to age the way we'd like to in a positive way.

That affect all of us.

And one of those things is ageism.

And ageism is about stereotypes, discrimination, and prejudice based on age.

And we certainly see that with older adults.

We also actually see that with teenagers, that we also have negative, you know, thoughts and prejudices around teenagers, but especially with older adults.

And with older adults, it is probably the most prevalent form of discrimination out there.

And it is very socially accepted.

If you think about when we see it in the media, when we see it greeting cards even or anything about, you know, how we see and talk about older adults is out there.

And we know that that impacts us in terms of how we see ourselves.

So if we take those negative messages in, we see it as a social norm, and then we think that, well, that's just how it has to be.

And it also can impact our mental health.

It can make, you know, just like any type of discrimination, you know, depression, anxiety, and potentially even suicide.

So it's a real thing in terms of impacting our, how we see ourselves as we age.

The other one is, there's a couple more actually.

One is loneliness and isolation, also impacts us.

And the US surgeon general just in May, came out with a report talking about isolation and loneliness and how it is a public health crisis.

And what we know is that one in four adults, 65 and over suffers from social isolation.

That's 25%, so it's significant.

And we know that that also impacts not just our mental health, but we're finding now, and we've seen this over about the last 20 years or so, it impacts our physical health.

People who are socially isolated are much more at risk of dying of any cause.

And we think that that risk may be as much as what we see with smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity in terms of how it can impact our physical health as well.

And the last thing, which we've heard everybody talk about is purpose, having purpose in life and how that can make a real difference.

That's really where our motivation comes from to engage in those behaviors that lead us to having, you know, a positive experience in our aging.

And we know, again, when that's missing in people's lives, that it certainly, it impacts their mental health, are more likely to have issues like depression, but it also impacts their physical wellbeing as well.

So I think what we're finding is the connection, which we've, which has been there forever, that we're really starting to pay more attention to, is how our mental health and physical health are so closely tied together.

And that can be either enhanced or in a good way, or enhanced in a bad way as we age in terms of how we engage with our lives and how we see our lives.

- So, Laura, do you see other or more impediments at the senior center or anything you can add?

- Yes, I was just sitting here saying, amen, amen to everything Debbie was saying.

That is so true.

And we see so much of that at St. Clair as well.

I think that a lot of times we have this idea of what our older age is gonna be like.

Sitting on the front porch, rocking your grandbabies or what have you, but sometimes there are family issues, and I see a lot of that, that people have distance between themselves and their children or their grandchildren, and I'm sure nobody sees that coming.

We also see people who really, a lot of the same things Deborah said, the isolation and loneliness is one of the biggest ones.

And with COVID when that happened, we saw such a difference in our folks once they were able to come back to the senior center, we really did, even just several months because we were close several months, several months of not being able to come to the senior center really took a toll physically, mentally, in many ways on our folks.

- So have either of you experienced ageism, so Alonzo, do you know what I mean?

Have either on the pickleball court or just?

- I mean, like I said, physically, you know, it's just your body starts to deteriorate as time gets, as you get older, and so you have to kind of find something to substitute what you used to do versus what you do now.

So you don't, one, you don't injure yourself, and then two, you still got that you can get out and be social and be able to meet and greet people, without feeling bad about where you go, because it's, I mean, we got people out there 80 years old that plays pickleball, and so that's- - Would you, like, is there ageism as in, would somebody not wanna play with them because they're 80?

- No, no, because usually the 80 year olds beat up on us.

(Denice chuckling) But we, I mean, there's such a good group of people out there.

We got a couple of pastors out there, and so it's such a good group of people that they're inviting to everybody.

Beginners and ones that are pros, they'll play with you, so there's no, you know, you don't section anybody off.

Everybody feels good about themselves when they leave there.

Everybody feels needed, wanted.

People want to play with them.

- So, any ageism in your community?

I know you work with multi-generations there.

- We do.

We do.

My core book group, I think 95% of them are well over 60.

But to me, I mean, I don't feel as old as I am and I have to kind of, it shocks me sometime when I think about it.

But no, not really, not in what we do.

It's, you know, I've got really experienced crocheters that have been doing it all their lives.

And I'm thankful for that and, but I just, I don't.

And of course, I have aches and pains like everybody else that's of my age, but it doesn't stop me.

It doesn't, I can't let it.

(chuckles) - All right.

So for this final part, I'd like to give each of you a chance to share one factor that you have found indispensable in positive aging.

Like, if you had to say this one thing was the thing that really made all the difference, so that as our friends who are watching are experiencing isolation or depression or loneliness, what's the one thing that really you feel like made all the difference?

Alonzo, let's start with you.

- Well, mine with me is just the organization, the Murfreesboro Pickleball Association.

It was just so inviting that it made it easy for me to go from coaching football from weightlifting to pickleball.

And there's so much information out there in that community, as far as people that's older than you, and people that's younger than you.

It's just so, and everything in between, there's so much information.

If you have a problem, you can talk to people out there.

That's what makes it so good that you, if you can actually, regardless of what era where you come from, you can always find someone there to talk to.

And that's what made it easy for me to do all the, you know, go from the changes that I've been in my life.

You know, with the PTSD and stuff like that.

- [Denice] Sure.

- It really, really has a wide range of people that's gone through the things you have or have experienced and the things you're dealing with.

And that's what their community's all about, and that's what I like about it.

- Fantastic.

Barbara.

- [Barbara] Will you repeat the question?

- Yeah, it really is.

Like, what's really the one factor that you would say contributes to your process of positive aging?

- I think the passion that I have for what I do is the main factor.

I've always loved crocheting and I love creating, and I love these kids, you know, and it's just a passion.

- There's a learning factor, right?

Like in addition to your creating and your teaching and your building, there's a, you have had to learn a lot about what you're doing, right?

- Oh, yes.

I knew nothing about creating a nonprofit for one thing.

And that took me a while to wrap my head around that, so I've learned a lot and just learning to make the long princess wigs.

I made the first one and it had a lot of mistakes in it, but yeah, we learned, and now they're just, they're gorgeous, they're beautiful.

- And then just the power of giving back.

- The power of giving back is very powerful.

It's I think it's our purpose here like I said.

I think that's why we're here is to give back and help other people.

And I think that's it in a nutshell.

You know, I think that's the secret to happiness.

I do.

- Great.

Laura, your factor in the senior centers?

- Yes, ma'am.

The one thing that I preach constantly to our seniors is to get outta your house.

I feel that it's so important to find a community, and it doesn't have to be St. Clair where I am, but wherever you are, to find a senior center or a church or somewhere where you can go and be a part of a community.

And at senior centers, a lot of them, people think of a senior center as a place where people sit around and playing cards all day.

That's not true at all.

I mean, we do have people that play cards, but we are a very, very active bunch.

And you can be as active as you care to be when you come to a senior center.

We do trips, we go everywhere from Nashville to eat lunch somewhere to overseas.

And we do fitness classes, like we talked about before.

We have education, we have health expos, we work with MTSU a lot.

We bring those students over and they love, those generations love coming together, the young students and then the senior citizens, they love it.

But you need to get out of your house and find a purpose, a passion, a reason for you to get up in the morning because it changes everything physically, mentally, emotionally for you.

- Deborah, some thoughts about really what promotes that positive mindset?

- Well, of course, you know, to me it's, I could talk about a lot of different things and I think we've heard some great thoughts about what's the thing for individuals.

And I would say all of that to me says intentionality.

Growing older the way we want to in a positive way, for most of us doesn't just happen.

We have to have an intentionality about it.

And that takes effort, it takes passion, it takes a desire.

And so, having those things within us make a huge difference.

And then, it's what you just said, Denice.

The other thing I would say is not just intentionality to do those things, but the mindset in which you come into aging with.

And again, we know that people who have a more positive attitude about aging in their own aging tend to live longer and tend to live healthier.

We also know that being engaged in a faith community also helps people's longevity, so that's another community people can get involved with as well.

Volunteering is another opportunity.

- Do you have some experience on how to guide people toward finding that purpose?

Where do you begin if you say, I don't know what to do?

- Well, I think it's, I think Barbara and Alonzo both talked about what they already had some skill in and what that was interesting to them.

So, you know, Barbara already knew how to crochet and she had this great idea about how can she use her skill to do that.

Alonzo came with his skill with coaching and physical activity.

How could he play that out later in life?

So I think it's finding what it is in your life that engages you, interests you, that you know you wanna take to the next level, which both of them have done.

And Laura has seen so many people do at St. Clair Street, is taking those things that are important to you and matter to you and using those to then have and write your next chapter in life.

- Yeah, yeah.

And have you seen, so have you seen the successes there like in your mind, is there one a person, maybe an anecdote that you remember seeing someone go from I don't know to fulfillment?

- You know, I think that when I think about that, there's so many people who I think have been great examples of that.

And I mean, Laura at St. Clair Street, you know, talks about people who have come into the center and maybe been a little shy and not real, you know, secure around people they don't know.

And then within a period of a relatively short period of time really flourish and get engaged and see the difference that connecting with other people who have like interests really does for them.

That it engages them not just mentally, but oftentimes just physically and gets them out of the house.

- Right, right.

Well, this has really been a wonderful conversation.

Any final thoughts?

We have a minute left.

- I just will piggyback off what Debbie just said about people coming to the center.

And again, it doesn't have to be our senior center, but to get out in community, because I have seen so many people who will come in and honestly be a very lonely, depressed person.

And all it takes is for them to join one class or get involved in one thing at the senior center, and it changes their life literally.

It really does.

- Well, that's what we're all about, aren't we then?

That is all the time we have.

And I really wanna thank each of you for joining us today, and thank you for tuning in.

(gentle music) - [Announcer] Major funding for, "Aging Matters" is provided by the West End Home Foundation, enriching the lives of older adults through grant making, advocacy and community collaboration.

The Jeanette Travis Foundation dedicated to improving the health and wellbeing of the Middle Tennessee community, the HCA Healthcare Foundation on behalf of TriStar Health, Cigna, together all the way.

Additional funding provided by Jackson National Life Insurance Company, the Community Foundation of Middle Tennessee, and by members of NPT.

Thank you.